Stay together for the sake of the kids – You mean divorce/separate for the kids, right?

I split with my daughter’s father over 4 years ago now. I remember people telling us we should stay together for the kids. I’ve heard if from family and friends, I’ve read it in magazines articles, etc. I personally think that this particular piece of advice is wrong.  On the contrary, I actually came to the conclusion I was ready to move out for the kids. Let me explain.

There came a moment where I could choose to overlook many things and choose to stay in an unhappy relationship “for the sake of the children”.

I don’t think its better for children to see their parents in a loveless marriage, to be subjected to a dysfunctional, wounded marriage. To see their parents lose their joy.

I wanted my kid and step kids to know that it wasn’t ok to settle for a loveless and unhappy marriage. I wanted them to know that their personal happiness and self-respect was still important after having children. I wanted to know that you didn’t have to be shackle by a mistake for the rest of your life. I wanted them to know they could split when the relationship reached a point where there is no fixing or healing to be done. I wanted the kids to know that love is possible.

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