It seems to me that more and more people have lost understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like.
Women deserve men who are equal partners, who share life’s journey with us, and who treat us as equals.
At the cinema, movies are presented as romances that should be shown as a warning sign of abuse. People are creating memes that say relationship goals and showing couples that shouldn’t be role models, such as:
- Christian Gray & Anastasia Steele in
50 Shades of Gray
- Joker and Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad
- Jim and Aurora in Passengers
Even the movie The Notebook, Noah threatens to hurt himself by falling off a Ferris wheel if Allie won’t date him. This is not a grand romantic gesture of love, it coercive behaviour that is actually threatening, emotionally manipulative, and terrifying.
As a parent, I find it important to teach my children about respect, equality, trust, friendship and love in relationships. I also feel a need to point out what isn’t healthy when I come across it.
- A partner that immediately becomes possessive, sulking when you so much as talks to other men/women, and attempts to isolate you from your friends is not romantic, it’s abusive.
- A partner who shows up unannounced at your place of work. This is not romantic, it’s abusive.
- A partner who traces your mobile phone to find you on a night out drinking with friends isn’t romantic, it’s abusive.
- A partner who proceeds to have sex with you, despite your refusal and continued protestation, that’s rape.
It primes sons to grow up to expect girls who are submissive and passive, not equal partners.
Here’s a list I like about Relationships:
- Ain’t Your Mama – Jennifer Lopez
- Respect – Aretha Franklin
- Roar – Katy Perry
- Sit Still, Look Pretty – Days
- Though Guys – REO Speedwagon
- U.N.I.T.Y – Queen Latifah
- You Don’t Own Me – Dusty Springfield