Cracking under pressure?
As you may already know, I have an autoimmune illness called Graves’ Disease, I also have hyperthyroidism and suspicious and growing thyroid nodules that look like cancer. If that wasn’t enough to deal with, my doctor now suspects that I may also have Fibromalgia. In other words, I have an invisible illness(es) that makes life very difficult and exhausting. Some days I can achieve anything I set my mind to, some days I can’t even get out of bed.
My child doesn’t like school. She has a learning disability which makes school harder, but she is doing well enough that she doesn’t qualify for additional support within the school system. She is struggling with the last stretch, exhausted for the hours and hours of effort she has to put in every weeks to get passing grades. She demands a lot of emotional support and as her mother I am happy that she turns to me to find the support that she needs.
My best friend who has been travelling the world these past years by working on cruise ships, is now struggling with depression as she is trying to settle down and make a life on home soil. She is single, her family has moved away and much of her support system has moved on while she was gone. I am her go to person to keep herself afloat.
At work, I am the key support person, problem solver. I pass my day helping people with problems and taking care of emergency situations. Everyone turns to me for help as they should. It’s my job. It’s what I am good at.
My fiancé and I are currently planning a wedding (2 months to go!) and the purchase of a home (notary is happening next month, moving in 3 months). It’s a lot of running around.
Between the multiple kids, the wedding and house preparation, we haven’t had any time for rest. We are constantly on the go. That in itself is very exhausting.
Every other weekend, we do not have the kids and can concentrate on household needs, wedding preps and house ownership goals. We work all weekend and dedicated long hours and yet we often feel like we haven’t touched the surface.
Some days it feels like it’s all too much, especially if it’s been a particularly demanding day with both my daughter and my best friend requiring moral support while I’m also struggling to keep my head above the water. I feel like I’m going to break under the pressure. When this happens, I have to take a moment, just to take deep breath and let go of the accumulation of stress.
When I start feeling overwhelmed I take a step back and revise my steps to getting my life back on track.
- I make list, try to spread the work over the timeline, leave space for the unexpected (which always happens.)
- I am lucky to have a partner that helps me and share in the work load. I have a tendency to be a bit of a control freak so when I feel overwhelmed I look at my to do list and see what I’m keeping for myself that I should be giving to my spouse for help.
- I remind myself that I have felt this way before and have always come out the other end successfully and in one piece.