I am currently taking medication to treat depression and anxiety issues caused by Graves Disease. I must say that my quality of life has been much better since I am on this medication, but it took a while to start working and it’s not a solve all issues solution. Anxiety and depression will still flare up and it can happen at any moment.

nothing-1394845_1920Anxiety hit last night. I recognised it for what it was. I tried to dismiss it, but it was always present in the background, bringing my mood down, always ready to jump to the foreground the instant I wasn’t busying myself with something else. It caused my mind to go into vicious and exhausting cycles of what ifs, whys, over thinking, over analysing, leaving me feeling horrible. The out of nowhere flare-ups are the worst. It was present when I fell asleep. It made for a restless night of sleep, as I tossed and turned. It affected my dreams as all of my worst fears became reality in dreams and nightmares. It was there when I woke up feeling tired even though my day just started.

In this case, time answered and calmed the what ifs, whys, over thinking, over analysing, confirming what I had told myself when I first pushed the anxiety aside recognising it for what it was, but it didn’t stop the roller coaster ride that has left me depleted as I start this new day. I now have to function with sleep deprivation.