How are you feeling today?

How are you feeling today? Such a simple and ordinary question. A question we hear several times a day from family members, friends and/or coworkers. I never thought about it twice before being diagnoses with an incurable autoimmune illness. The answer was strait forward. A good day was a good day, there weren’t so many nuances. Never before has this question been so difficult to answer, even on good days.

beautiful-girl-2003647_1920If I were to  answer to that question honestly, it would sound more like: “That’s too complicated to answer without writing a trilogy and an annex. How long do you have?”

Any short answer would leave out a lot of important details and give a false idea of what I feel.

If I answer, that I’m doing good, people assume that I’m pain free today and back to my old self, which isn’t the case. If I feel bad, people assume I should be taking a day off to rest, not knowing that it wouldn’t change anything and that I have a lot more bad days than sick days.

My humour can be good and yet, I am fighting against incredible pain or having difficulty walking. When I got to work this morning, I was in pain, in tears, exhausted and didn’t feel up to dealing with any issues. After coffee and giving myself the go ahead to take it one item at a time and not stress about the pile of work that was awaiting, I got a lot accomplished and I feel happy. The sun is finally out, which helps a lot.

I find giving more information and sharing more honestly, helps people understand. It takes more time, and it can be frustrating to repeat oneself over and over, but in the end it does more good than bad.

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