Assumptions happen every day. Even when we can see a situation unfold in front of our eyes, we still apply a filter of assumptions as dictated by society. These biases are so ingrained that we don’t even realize we have them.
When I split with my kid’s father numerous years ago, many assumed that I was left in financial hardship. Even though everyone knew that for many years, he was an at home father, they still assumed that he was paying for the majority of the bills. Instead of basing their information on observation, they assumed a lot about my life based on social norms or sexist beliefs. In truth, I went from paying for a family of 5 to paying for a family of 2. Things were much easier financially.
My daughter’s grandfather is in a common law relationship with a woman who is younger than most of his children. Many assumed that she was a gold digger going after an old man hoping to get the inheritance. Nothing could be further than the truth. In reality, she makes more money than him. Does that make him the gold digger? They met online over their mutual love of history and later learn that they were both struggling with a disability. They bonded over their shared experiences and obstacles.
Society as a whole and each of us, because we are the whole, has got to stop making these stupid assumptions and as women, we need to stop buying into them. The world isn’t black or white. People aren’t all the same. Paths differ.