Sex is still taboo or an uncomfortable subject for many. We teach our kids about everything else, but keep this aspect of life secret or talk about it with vagueness and hush tones. If we were open about sex there would be a lot less shame and hurt. People would have a meaninful and healthy relationship a lot earlier in life, instead of learning everything the hard way.

adult-2178963_1920In terms of sexuality, it’s up to each couple to determine its limits, principles and values. There is a lot of pressure, especially with young love, to perform, to be better than average, and much fear of disappointing the other.

In today’s society, it is also often misconstrued that girlfriends and wives should accept everything in bed. Husbands and boyfriends have no rights over their wives and girlfriend’s bodies. Our bodies belong to us. It’s simply a question of respect. This is probably why I loved the movie “Deadpool” so much because it was the first movie I’ve seen that depicts a man trying something that he might not enjoy in bed.

Some women/men feel they should agree to do something they don’t want to “reward” him for being nice to them or as a birthday wish. Some women/men fear that should they ever say no, they will lose the love and respect the other person now shows.

Sometimes, to please the other, a person feels the desire to leave his/her comfort zone and to push back some limits and there is nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be clear communication and the knowledge that if there’s a problem, you can always say no.

woman-1979272_1920So, for these and other reasons that belong to you, it is not necessary to accept everything in bed, even by so called love and this goes for both men and women.  What is important is that you both are comfortable and happy.

As you grow older or have to deal with injuries and illness, lovemaking takes on another form. I think it is then, that you realise how much sex is about emotional connection and pleasure, not about competing with the karma sutra.