Back in high school, a good friend of mind committed suicide. We all knew she was going through a though time. We all tried to help, but it wasn’t enough. We were young, we didn’t have the right set of tools, it easy to look back and say I should have done this or that.
She was a teenager, full time student, had a part-time job with lots of hours, was living on her own, had to pay rent, groceries, electricity, etc. She was struggling with grades and with payments. Her mother was in the hospital with terminal cancer. Her father was remarried and didn’t want her to move in with his new family. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend.
We thought that by passing all of our free time with her showing support it would be enough. The minute she was alone for 30 minutes, she hung herself.
At first, we were handling the funeral arrangement for the mother, but the dad stepped in and took over. He actually had a religious funeral arranged where the priest past half the time saying that our friend was going to burn in hell for committing suicide and passing all kinds of negative judgement for the taking the easy way out. Suicide isn’t easy. Depression isn’t easy. She couldn’t afford therapy. She couldn’t afford the time off to see a doctor. She had too much on her shoulder for a girl her age.
We were so mad at the priest and at her dad for looking down on her. Especially her dad who should have been there, who should have taken her in and taken care o
f her, instead of letting her fend for herself.
I wish things would have been different. I wish I could have been more help, but I understand why she chose suicide and I remember her fondly.
If you are feeling suicidal and do not know where to get help, here are a few options: