What is a preemptive defence?

Preemptive defence is attacking an enemy before the enemy could attack you. If your partner treats you like the enemy, it’s a pretty good sign you aren’t in a healthy relationship.

boomerang-1027827_1920When someone you just met stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl, that you should “trust them” right away or emphasises their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, be wary. Toxic and abusive people overstate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should “trust” them without first building a solid foundation of trust.

If you do not immediately reassure them that you do in fact think they are a good person and that you trust them, they may accuse you of having trust issues or being paranoiac. The idea is to make you feel guilty about your lack of trust or hesitation to form a bond with them.

“I don’t have trust issues, I just know better.” – Unknown

Genuinely nice people rarely have to persistently show off their positive qualities. It will happen naturally through their actions. They exude their warmth more than they talk about it and they know that actions speak volumes more than mere words. They know that trust and respect is a two-way street that requires reciprocity, not repetition.

Trust actions more than empty words and see how someone’s actions communicate who they are, not who they say they are.

“I don’t trust words, I trust actions!” – Unknown

 

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