I am strong. I am brave. I am fierce. I am worthy. I am all these things.

I am also struggling.

girl-1098612_1920Depression is difficult. I cry when no one is looking. I cry sitting at my desk at work. I cry at home. I know that if I bottle it up, the outburst will be much worse. Depression is bad. Anxiety is just as damaging. I am struggling with depression and anxiety because they usually come hand in hand, I am not weak. I am strong for moving forward. I try to remember that I am brave for working through this, and I am worthy of love and support from the people around me and from myself. Afterall, we are our own worst enemies. We tend to put ourselves to higher standards than everyone else around.

Last night, I got a new jigsaw puzzle, because I know that when I’m working on putting all the pieces together, there is no space for anxiety to take over. It gives me a break, a moment to take a breath. It alleviates the struggle, if only for a few hours. If you struggle with mental illness, I strongly recommend that you find one pass-time that keeps your mind from spinning out of control.

I try to remember that each day I make it through, each time I fight these thoughts that consume me, I am making it one step closer to recovery. Especially on days when I lose sight of better days.

girl-1563986_1920I try to remember that recovery takes time and that things will get better. I try to remember that things will eventually improve and that I will start to feel positive again.

Struggling with depression and anxiety is hell. It feels like you are lost and there is no way out. The process may be long and hard, but as long as I believe that I can make it through this, I will. We all can.

I am currently concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other. I won’t give up.

I feel ashamed for struggling so much. I feel like I’m failing the people around me. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but I do. I am doing the best I can.

 

My journey toward recovery is only beginning, there will be ups and downs along the way. This moment doesn’t define all the progress I have made or/and that I will do. I know that mental illness looks and feels different for everyone, but I am hoping that by sharing my struggle that it will make someone feel less alone.