My Top 10 ineptitude

You will find yourself in you. You will never find yourself anywhere else. We’re all different. We can’t build a mould and expect people to all fit that mould. We also all have talents and ineptitude. These are my top 10 ineptitude.

    1. AUTO-PILOT: I can’t find my own stuff to save my own life, but ask me where you lost your stuff and I’ll find it less than 5 minutes. I have a weird auto-pilot that takes over my body and I leave my stuff in the weirdest places without any recollection. For example, I once left my phone charger in a jigsaw puzzle box.
    2. COOKING: I can’t cook anything other than pasta. I make amazing pasta dishes, but everything else turns into a complete disaster. I have melted pizza in the oven. This is why I married a man who has amazing cooking talents. I am one lucky woman.
    3. CRYING: I can’t watch a sad movie, video, commercial without crying. This has gotten worse since I gave birth. My kid loves to show me those “Try not to cry” videos on Youtube and see how long it takes me before I completely lose it.
    4. LIGHTS: I will pass the day, closing lights after people, but I can’t turn off the lights when I go to sleep thanks to P.S. I Love You.
    5. lost-2607118_1920ORIENTATION: I can’t tell my right from my left. I’m dyslexic and am directionally challenged. Yet, you can drop me in the middle of any forest and I will find my way out without issue. The invention of the cell phone with integrated GPS has given me such freedom. I am truly thankful for technology.
    6. PLANTS: As much as I love nature and the sent of plants and flowers. I can’t own real plants. I always end up killing them. I really wish I could have a plant in my office cubicle, but I feel too guilty trying again.
    7. REMEMBER: I can’t remember names of people, movies, places, etc. What’s my name again? Remember that television with that girl with the red hair who dance in an elevator?
    8. SHEETS: I can’t fold sheets. I don’t know how many times I’ve been shown how to and everyone says it’s easy. I just can’t manage it. It starts great, by the time I’m done, it looks like I just shoved everything into a messy ball.
    9. SEWING: I can’t sew. I have zero basic sewing skills. I took a course back in high school. We had to make boxers. I broke 3 machines. The teacher got fed up and finished the work for me. When it came time for the evaluation, she forgot she did all the work and gave me 95%. The 5% that I lost was the only part I actually did. I tried to sow a button on once and ended up making a hole in the pants.
    10.  SPEAK: I am bilingual. I am technically French and English speaking. In reality, I mess up both languages regularly and end up speaking Frenglish or inventing words.

I am thankful for today, this breath, this moment, this life.

What are your top 10 inaptitudes or “I can’t” moments?


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