If men took no graciously

What’s wrong with a patriarchal social culture that supports a level of male entitlement so twisted that men believe they have the right to inflict punishment for rejection? Everything. Everything is wrong with that.

Why aren’t we teaching young boys to handle rejection? Why do we continue to teach both boys and girls that persistence is romantic when it is, in fact, abusive and creepy? We should all be learning how to handle rejections romantic or otherwise because everyone will experience it.

These boys grow up and become men who haven’t learned how to handle rejection. The fact remains that anger, bitterness, impatience and hatred are all forms of fear and these fears manifest as derogatory comments towards women and girls.

Girls grow up viewing abuse has a proof of love. We create the very rape culture we are fighting against.

If we thought young girls that they have autonomy and boys to handle rejection, I believe that a lot of male anger would go away and women wouldn’t have to resort to lying. Unfortunately, this isn’t the current reality. Women often resort to lying in order to protect themselves from men who won’t take a simple “no” for an answer and then those same men complain that women are indirect and ‘never say what they mean’. No women should have to fear for her safety or her life when she simply just doesn’t want to date a man who’s shown her interest.

If men took no graciously - TopicsWithPassion.blogWomen don’t owe you a “yes” simply because you asked. No one should ever have to say anything more than “no thanks” when they are simply not interested.

If people just took no, to mean no. Everyone would be a whole lot happier. When a person says no to you the first time, you should accept this response and their autonomy and move on.

Too many men do not take no for an answer. I always start by a simple “sorry, I’m not interested”, then when almost inevitably, the man who approached me politely at first, doesn’t take “no” for an answer, I resort to “I have a boyfriend”. Unfortunately, that statement doesn’t always work. I’ve remembered a particularly nasty confrontation when the man in question didn’t want to back off even after telling him I had 3 children with my spouse. He still wanted me to leave my family behind and sleep with him. I didn’t even know his family name, nor did I want to learn it. I had to threatened police involvement before he started calling me names and yelling at everyone who would listen that I was a crazy bitch.

I always start by a simple “sorry, I’m not interested”, then when almost inevitably, the man who approached me politely at first, doesn’t take “no” for an answer, I resort to “I have a boyfriend”. Unfortunately, that statement doesn’t always work. I’ve remembered a particularly nasty confrontation when the man in question didn’t want to back off even after telling him I had 3 children with my spouse. He still wanted me to leave my family behind and sleep with him. I didn’t even know his family name, nor did I want to learn it. I had to threatened police involvement before he started calling me names and yelling at everyone who would listen that I was a crazy bitch.

 

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