Today is a bad anxiety day. Every little thing is triggering an awful feeling in the depth of my stomach and I’ve already melted into tears multiple times.
I’m anxious about money, about the return to school, about the return to work, about our kids’ future, about winter weather, about the amount of cleaning and work the house requires, about homework, about the front door sticking, about everyone’s health, about my marriage, about my character, about being too much for my husband. etc. These are things we all deal with every single day, but today they are crushing me.
At a time when I should be at my strongest, I’m at my weakest.
I showed my husband the draft of this post and he reassured me that my fears are indeed only due to my anxiety and that there is nothing to worry about. I feel better, but not still very shaky. He reminded me that we are the pillars of this family and that when one pillar is feeling under the weather, the other is there to pick up the slack.
I don’t know why my anxiety is so bad. We’ve done the groceries, lunches are planned out, we’ve renewed the kids monthly bus passes, we did all the laundry, the school uniforms and office clothing are clean and ready, the girls are currently passing time together laughing. I shouldn’t worry, but I am.