I remember my first boyfriend, mainly because it only lasted a week and almost drove me bat crazy in that short of time.
I dated the “I dunno” guy.
He didn’t have an opinion on anything. He did know where to go on a date, what activities we could do, what conversation topics we could explore, etc. He would ask me to take all the decisions. It was always the same thing: “Whatever you want is good for me.” That’s great once in a while, but not 100% of the time.
He never had any conversation either. He never had anything to say. He just wanted to listen to me. I’m an introvert. I crave deep conversations. There were only one-sided monologues. It wasn’t working for me.
The point of dating is to get to know each other. There was nobody to get to know. He was simply an empty shell that would happily mould itself into whatever you wanted it to be. It’s simply not my thing.
You have to have opinions, make decisions, have some conversation or you can’t build anything. Your opinions, decisions, conversation define your character. There are supposed to be 2 people in a relationship. That means you have to show up too.
His inability to make simple decisions meant we weren’t going anywhere. I had no need for a creepy shadow.
The ability to make a decision is a tool. It allows you to be heard, has a voice and build trust. It doesn’t mean being controlling. How can you fall in love with someone who is a completely blank page, who isn’t there, who only acts like a puppet or a mirror to your own being? You are effectively alone in the relationship.
We simply couldn’t go on.
I think he was so happy to be in a relationship he didn’t want to do anything to mess it up, which is exactly what it did.