I rather you be honest, than lie to protect my feelings
14 years ago I got pregnant and my spouse lost his job due to a health issue. We decided that he would stay home to raise our child and I would be the breadwinner. Years passed without any issues. Our child grew up and started school. My spouse found it difficult to find a job. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of people who look down at men who stay at home to raise children. To help him, I found him a replacement contract at my workplace.
After a 2 or 3 months, a co-worker approached me and said: “I’m really sorry to tell you this, but if I were in your place I would want to know.” This is when I learned (with proof) that my spouse had been sexually harassing her. She had made a formal complaint to management and was told to sweep it under the rug because they didn’t want to embarrass or hurt me. That was not the correct reaction. They should have handled the sexual harassment complaint seriously regardless of who it may embarrass or hurt. First, you are failing to offer a safe working environment to the victim. Secondly, it’s a lot more embarrassing and hurtful to learn that you were the only one who didn’t know, while everyone was gossiping about it behind you back.
Long story short, we are no longer together and I have met a man who truly loves me. We got married last May.
I much prefer to be told the truth, then being lied to because you are afraid to hurt me. The truth allowed me to move forward, to keep my personal integrity, confront the situation and find the life I truly deserved instead of staying in a relationship that was completely false. The truth puts us face to face with the obvious that we must assume. It’s something we have to face with our whole being, even if it hurts. It allows us to get back on track and continue to live with courage and integrity.
The fact of preferring false truths or words that reassure only delays the deadline and seriously worsens the situation.