Earlier this morning I was talking with a coworker about parenting teenagers. She’s having a difficult time with her child. I asked her if her husband was supporting her during this difficult period. My husband and I are always there for each other as a support system during difficult moments. No matter how difficult a day is, we both know that we aren’t alone in this and it helps alleviate the load.
She confided that he blamed her for their child’s learning difficulties and attitude. She also told me that it’s gotten so bad that he regularly puts her down and tells her horrible things. I asked her if she thought about divorce. It’s better to be a single mother than have an unhealthy relationship with someone who is being vocally abusive. She burst into tears saying that she asked for a divorce and he refused threatening to take her life, her kid’s life and his own. Making her feel like she was the cause of all the distress within their home.
I repeated to her that none of this is her fault. That what he is doing is abuse. I could tell that she believed his words and was afraid that his threats aren’t empty. I made it clear that if a person disrespects you, demeans you, intimidates you, manipulates you, attacks you psychologically and/or physically, it is not at all because you are worthless, because you are weak, because you have sought or because you deserve it.
I hope that my words will help.
I wanted to call the police, but I know that what I have is considered hearsay and that unless she presses charges it won’t count. I am going to research helplines and local organization that can help her, but she is the one who has to take that very scary step.
I wish I could do more to protect her and get her and her son out of that situation. If you have any advice, please feel free to share.