The choice to have children

This is something that flabbergasts me. Whether you decide to have children or not, the decision is yours and yours alone. I can’t understand why it’s so difficult to understand that it’s a personal choice, not an obligation. It sounds simple enough to me.

For me, the need to become a mother came after becoming a stepmom. It hit me like a ton of brick. I suddenly not only wanted to be pregnant and give birth to a child, but I needed to be a mom.

The same is true when it came time to decide if I wanted another child or not. After all the complications I went through to have this child, the decision was as clear to me when I knew that I would never want to get pregnant again. Yet, that choice was apparently not mine to make. My doctor condescendingly spoke down to me, saying that I would certainly wish to have another child a little later. My spouse asked to have a vasectomy and he got one right away.

Trust your instinct. Parenthood is difficult and is forever. It’s not something to be pressured into.

I don’t understand why people feel like they have a right to have a say in another’s family planning.


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