More and more I find myself struggling to hold a conversation with someone because I know what I want to say to him or her but it seems like my brain and mouth are not synchronizing. I’m losing my conversations.
I used to have an enormous internal vocabulary, but you always come up with words like ‘thingy’. I forget words and names or use the wrong ones without realizing it. I often say a wrong word or mix up all the phrases while having a conversation. The worst part is if you start being afraid of forgetting common words or losing your train of thought, it may make your symptoms worse.
The language problems common in chronic illness warriors, which includes word recall. This issue can complicate conversation and make it stressful. It’s called brain fog. It can be very frustrating and it can also make us feel stupid.
This is why I really dislike speaking to strangers on the phone because I don’t want to appear stupid.
It may be easier to write than talk when language impairment is acting up, which is another reason why I prefer blogging over having important conversation out loud. When you write, you can take more time with it, sort through your jumbled thoughts, and then proofread it. On top of that, when you receive written messages, you can keep them and refer back if necessary, which I do often.
What is most frustrating is that people I love dismiss or diminish my symptoms by saying everyone forgets sometimes. It happens to all of us. Yes, it does, but not to this extent.