I came across a quote that made me cry today.
“You’re killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you drop dead. Take care of yourself.” – Women Working
The reason it hit so hard is because that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m killing myself for a job that would replace me within a week if I dropped dead. I woke up this morning feeling beyond exhausted and hurting everywhere. I wanted to take a sick day to take care of myself, but I have kids who are counting on me to bring a paycheck back home and a workplace that see chronic illness sufferers as trouble employees that needs attitude adjustment. So I got myself to work. Passed the first 45 minutes in the bathroom being sick and then somehow made it through the day. I made it through the exhaustion, the pain, the eye rolls from the human resources manager and the whispers behind my back, which always happen when I am unable to hide my pain.
I wish I could put myself first. I wish I could go on permanent sick leave. It’s just not in the cards for me right now. I know that I am not the only chronic illness warrior getting up every day and getting through the day by sheer strength of will.
As I sat here, crying, I started wondering what I could do to help other people in the same situation. I’m already amassing funds for Arthritis and Fibromyalgia research, but I’m thinking I need to start researching and advocating for better resources for chronic illness sufferers. If you are in Canada and know of organizations that do this, please let me know.