Focus on their hurt not yours

When you are trying to comfort a friend, it’s important not to dismiss the pain they are feeling by saying something like “time heals everything”.

The reason why we try to minimize or dismiss other’s pain is that you are feeling the pain, or thinking about how hard it is, or relating it to a situation you’ve experienced in the past. It’s your own negative or sad feelings that are surfacing and making you feel bad. It’s a natural response to shut it down.

The first key in being there for someone is to separate your experiences from the person you are consoling. Be intentional about putting the focus on them.


One thought on “Focus on their hurt not yours

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: