I’m sharing the following because I know deep inside that I am not alone in this struggle. I know that there is strength in knowing that there is a lot of people out there who understands and go through the same guilt, worry and hopes.
I’m always tired. I am forever falling asleep. I can’t seem to keep up with my family members’ busy lives. My body is always in pain and struggling. My mind is constantly heavy. I’ve been pushing day after day to keep my mind and body going.
The truth is that I’m never quite sure I’ll make it through the day when I get out of bed each morning, but somehow I do. I collapse into bed with tear filled eyes each night, either from sheer pain or exhaustion or both, or having a difficult time at work, worrying about losing my job, or not being able to do more with/for the kids.
I try to remember all of the times I did take your children out for a small activity, or to the park or shopping. I try to remember all that I do accomplish instead of concentrating on all the things I wish I could have done. I know that I haven’t missed it all.
In the end, it’s not about keeping up with the Jones, but about the quality the times we spend together as a family.