There is no manual that teaches us how to live. We aren’t born with an instruction book giving us the answers to all the obstacles we will face in our lives.
Recovering from a challenging time, situation or event usually does not happen quickly. This is a process that can take a long time, and there is no shame in having it.
Even though magical thoughts are constantly shared by a majority, it is wrong to believe that living a very long recovery is a sign of weakness or lack of willpower. We live in a society that is high demanding and fast past. Sometimes empathy and understanding are forgotten.
Restoring oneself and taking time. It requires a huge amount of energy, both physically and psychologically.
For a person who has never personally experienced a test that requires a downtime or a moment of rest, the proposed solutions are often fast, dismissive and expeditious. They do not understand the reasons behind these longer delays, and they may fall back on guilt speeches to get you moving.
You should never compare two situations together. Each individual is unique and different, and there are a thousand factors that vary from one context to another. Some people use professional support, and that’s entirely valid. Recovering without help is not a better option than another.
No matter how much time is needed and the methods chosen to perceive an improvement in one’s life, the value of a person does not become less or greater.
I would also add that ignoring the harm done and moving forward without dealing with the situation, without proper recovery isn’t healthy and will catch up to you sooner or later. After a traumatic high school experience, I moved from the French school system to the English school system and chose a college that was far so that I would be leaving everything behind. I thought I had moved on and that I was healthily moving forward. I was wrong. Numerous years later, I stumble upon an online pedophile circling around one of my kids. I dealt with it, but it triggered PTSD. All of the sudden, all of the fear, pain, anger, all of the trauma I had closed the door took over my life, my dreams, etc.
The best way I found to deal with trauma and emotional wounds was to create this blog actually. Writing about my experiences, my fears, the life lessons I’ve acquired to experience, baring my soul and fighting for awareness and rights helps me work through trauma and emotional scars that have been with me for years, some for decades.
Recovery takes time. Don’t let anyone rush you through it.