I begin to hurt after a few minutes of standing, and I really can’t do more than 10 or 15 minutes without severe pain. On a bad day, it’s much less than that. I have to keep shifting my weight from one foot to the other to try to minimize the pain, but even that trick only works for a short time.
I know I’ve irritated some of my employers when I’ve tried to explain I can no longer do standing room-only events. I’ve heard people complaining that I look like I’m dying when I walk in a tone that highly suggested that I was exaggerating. Little did she know that I was actually minimizing my reaction to the pain as I struggle to walk.
Nobody wants to be known as lazy or a complainer. It shouldn’t be so hard. If you need to sit, for whatever reason, you should be able to do so without worrying. Nobody should be subjected to irritation, insults, anger or derision for taking care of themselves and doing what they need to do.
Staying bored isn’t an option for me. I remember clearly sitting on the cough on a Saturday without the kids. I was in extreme pain, but I didn’t want to stay home feeling bad for myself. I was bored and it was so beautiful outside.
I knew that if I simply stayed on the couch my mood wouldn’t improve. It would most probably worsen. It kind of felt like I was being punished. I wasn’t allowed to go play outside like all the other kids. I knew that I needed to do what you need to do to look after yourself, so I started to look at what I could do. You really can’t wait for your life to be perfect to start enjoying it.
Walking wasn’t an option. Moving wasn’t really an option either. We have a jeep. A road trip without a roof seemed perfect. I enjoy the freedom of overcoming obstacles, especially when it comes to thinking outside the box. My husband and I got int the jeep and started driving. We didn’t have any idea where we were going and it didn’t matter. It was all part of the adventure.
I am trying very hard to live a normal life. I still have interests, passions, goals and dreams. So when someone take one look at me and judges me negatively, it’s infuriating.