What you don’t see

There is no true way to ever be fully prepared for hard times. Finding out that you have a chronic illness and that there is no cure is enough to send anyone into hard times.

I didn’t realize these hard times would shake me up and change who I was and the way I saw life, but they did. People who have Fibromyalgia don’t have a lifestyle change, they have a full on life change.

Fibromyalgia is one of the most common disorders of the musculo-skeletal system.

Generally, analgesics and anti-inflammatory medication are prescribed to treat fibromyalgia. My problem is that I’m allergic to anti-inflammatory medication, so that treatment is not an option for me. Sometimes antidepressants can also be prescribed as the chronic illness and the constant pain can make anyone struggle with depression. I know I do. I became physically, emotionally, and mentally drained.

What you don't see - #FibromyalgiaEven the most mundane task may seem overwhelming when your body and mind are processing a situation. Great changes started happening as one part of life was ending (the healthy abled-bodied life) and another was beginning (living with multiple chronic illness, including Fibromyalgia). During time of changes, hearts and minds are evolving from this experience and that is transforming how we see the world around us.

I can’t go shopping alone anymore, not even to the supermarket. I need someone with me in case my body seizes up on me or in case my legs stop working. I need a wheelchair if I go shopping for more than a quick in and out.

I have to sit to blow dry my hair because I have no strength left in my legs to stand and in my arms to hold up the hair dryer. Sometimes I just sit for half an hour waiting for my body to be ready to be dried off.

I need help to get dress, because it’s too painful and my body doesn’t move freely as it used to.

Throughout the day I’ve had to take multiple medications in order to make it through the day. I even need a pain and sleep pill to make it through the night. I also need a special CPAP machine to sleep as I have severe sleep apnea. I have an application (SleepStyle) that tracks my CPAP performance and my sleep patterns. It’s hard work trying to get a good sleep. I’m feeling fatigued and constant stiffness, especially in the morning.

I have lived with ever-present pain, spasms, twitches, muffled thoughts for approximately 3 years and will do so for the rest of my life.

My words that are often lost. I constantly struggle to concentrate and remember things.

I can do a little bit, then I have to rest.

My husband prepares the meals most of the time. I use a bench in the kitchen so I can rest while preparing food. I tend to drop things. I can’t pick up things with oil or boiling water, because there’s too much risk of my hurting myself.

It is disappointing because that’s not the mother I wanted to be.

It’s hard to think positively when you’re constantly in pain and constantly depending on other people.

What keeps me going through is my amazing family. My parents, my husband and my kids. They all motivate me to want to keep going.

Unfortunately, we cannot force someone to respect us. We cannot force someone to admit they were wrong or apologize. Only they have the power to shift their perspective.


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