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Why are you grieving, you got a child in the end?

I didn’t know this at the time it happened to me.  Miscarriage isn’t uncommon. It’s been estimated that maybe up to half of pregnancies end before we know about them. 1/4 women has been were we are. I had multiple miscarriage and I can tell you, it’s one of the worst thing that can happen to someone.

I had 3 miscarriages in 4 years and then had a healthy baby. Many are surprise that I still think about the ones I lost, believing I should just be happy, I did have a healthy baby int he end. We are supposed to just snap out of it because we have a child to be thankful for.

Why there’s never a good reason why a miscarriage has happened…

Some people told me it was a good thing that it happened, because I wouldn’t want an unhealthy child. There are plenty of parents out there who were warned that their child would be born with a disorder and they still chose to have that child. Do not assume what people would or wouldn’t want.

Why you should tell people they should be grateful for having a miscarriage…

Some people told me it I should be grateful it happened in the 4th month, that it would have been worse later on. Maybe they are right, but having a child have a heart attack in your belly and have to carry it a few days until you can be schedule for the removal of said child is hell on earth.

People are constantly throwing out their opinions about how long and how deeply you’re allowed to grieve this experience. Most people are trying to help, and are just thoughtless.

If someone tries to explain to you how you’re allowed to feel right now, ignore them because that’s complete hogwash. No one can dictate to you how you are supposed to feel about anything.

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