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I took a nap

I am still on progressive return to work after taking a disability leave for a month or so. I am now working 4 days a week. On my day off, I took a nap in the afternoon. I was so exhausted both physically and mentally. I needed to sleep. I put on my breathing mask, I have sleep apnea, and I drifted off to sleep.  

Unfortunately, my dreams were so vivid that I woke up feeling like I didn’t get to sleep at all. Just as I was drifting off, I dreamed that my husband came home early because he wasn’t feeling well. He came into our bedroom and woke me up. I then dreamed that my daughter barged into the room demanding attention as she often does. I remember thinking, there was no point in trying to sleep, it wasn’t going to happen and I removed my breathing mask and sat down in bed. Then my step son knocked on the door asking if he could come in to charge his phone on his dad’s cable. It kept going on and on. They were all simple situation that happen on a pretty regular basis. It felt so real.

It’s only when I woke up and felt my breathing mask still on my face that I knew it was all in my dream. My husband was still at work. My daughter was at her dads that week. My stepson was at his mom that week. None of those situations happened that day. I was alone and for once. I could truly rest. Maybe it’s because it happens so rarely that my attention isn’t required by someone that my mind couldn’t believe I was truly free to rest.

I felt just as tired as ever. I gave up on sleeping or more accurately, I gave up on feeling rested. According to my SleepStyle application, I slept over 12 hours that day (including night time). If I slept any longer, they would declare me comatose.

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