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Acceptance is difficult

Acceptance is difficult. It can be the hardest thing to do when you find yourself experiencing a flareup of chronic illnesses symptoms.

I’ve recently return to work full time after being off on sick leave. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. It feels like the only thing I’m doing is working and sleeping. I have no personal life. Acceptance is difficult.

My immediate reaction to any problem has always been to fix issues and surpass myself. This time there is no “fix” and surpassing myself is a minute to minute achievement. I’ve learned the difficult way that pushing my limits too much only makes it 10 times worse.

When I feel frustrated, I allow myself to feel that way but don’t beat yourself up for having a bad pain day and being unable to push through. Sometimes flares up happen out of the blue, which sucks, but I’ve found that these episodes are decreased in length if I am genuinely nice towards myself. Recovery takes a lot of practice and patience.

It’s not always easy, but I’ll get there.

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