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We all have fears

We all have fears. It’s completely and absolutely natural to have them. The problem arise when we start letting these fears rule us.

It is easy to let our fears slowly take over our lives without us even noticing. As a person with anxiety, I have to constantly remind myself not to organize my life around my fears.

I have a fear of knives

Especially when someone else is wielding one. It doesn’t matter how much I trust that person. When you are holding a knife, I will always worry that you will turn it against me.

In elementary school, I used to hang with a friend after school in her home. We were making ourselves a snack, cutting carrots when another friend arrived. We were young and didn’t know the signs of someone on drugs. His eyes were red and he was acting strange. He wasn’t his usual self.

We didn’t think twice when he offered to help. It was only when he started stabbing the knife in our direction and running after us that we realize he wasn’t completely there. Unfortunately, I nervous laughed, which only served to encourage him. We ended up splitting up and running for safety at opposite ends of the house, knowing he couldn’t run after both of us. I ended up hiding in the bathroom, which had a lock. It felt like I was in there for hours, in other silence, wondering if he had gone after my friend, if she was hurt or dead. I debated leaving my hiding place to go help, but was too terrified that he was hiding behind the bathroom door in wait. Turns out that once we were both out of view, the situation became boring and he left. That terror stayed with me. I could either refuse to have knives in the house or refuse that anyone use them except me, but I refuse to let my fears rule me.

It would be so easy to never actually face what worries us

It would be so easy to hide from everything that scares me, but it would reduce my life in such a way that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy adventure, exploration, outings. Shaping your life around your fears detract you from your ability to live life fully.

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