I struggle with my body image. My body image has changed greatly since I was diagnosed with Graves’ Disease and Fibromyalgia. I struggle with looking at older photographs of myself and seeing the enormous difference with what I now look.
The fact that I have gained weight is part of the issue, but not all. I also struggle with the fact that I look much older than I should for my age.
I realize that emboldened fat people are a rare sight to behold in mainstream media. I’m also certain that they are not embolden every single day.
One issue in my immediate surrounding is my own mother. She has struggled all her life with body issues. Being taller and heavier than her siblings got her teased a lot. She’s not even fat, she’s just not bone thin. Yet, she’s been on diets since I was a little child. I am now a grown adult with teenagers of my own.
She worries about my look. She has grown a lot and now is better at body acceptance, but still thinks that a fat body should be properly hidden behind loose clothing. I refuse to change for others. I do own loose clothing, but I also own figure revealing clothing. Fat people are being robbed of their sensuality, sexuality, person-hood, womanhood, or general validity. We are expected to be invisible. We are expected to hide so that we don’t bother strangers. Too bad. If you are not happy with my looks, you just have to not look.
People just love to leave awful comments on fat folks’ photos in order to feel superior. These hurt not only the person on the picture, but all the rest of us who see the anger and the vile. I promise you, not one of these commentators actually cares about the health regardless of what they pretend.
I am fat, because of health issues. I do not have health issues because I am fat. This is something my doctors have repeated over and over to me.
One thing that I have come to realize is that in order to promote self-love, you don’t have to be okay with your looks every single moment of your life. You can still struggle and be open about it and keep promoting self-love. Self-love is a journey, not a destination.
I struggle with my body image. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to fold and disappear. It just means that I am human and it takes work and time.