What is the value of St-Valentine Day?

There is a lot of opinions when it comes to St-Valentine Day. A lot of people say that St-Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday and dismiss it completely. I personally love St-Valentine’s Day, maybe because I don’t see it as a gift giving holiday, but a reminder to reserve time for romance. There lies the value of St-Valentine Day.

Love - Relationship

In today’s busy world, it’s easy to fall into a daily routine and forget to woo our partner. Parenting, careers, adult responsibilities, all of these things can get in the way and create distance between two people who love each other. This is why there is still value in St-Valentine’s Day.

It is the reason why I believe that your engagement day and wedding day shouldn’t be on St-Valentine’s day. You may think it’s really romantic and that’s perfectly okay. Personally, I prefer having more than one day to celebrate my love with my husband.

Violence against women happens here too

The number of homicides of women in Canada has been relatively stable for the last 20 years. This might sound like good news, but other types of crime are decreasing. 

Why is violence against women still so high?

In 2018, the overwhelming majority of murdered women and girls were killed in a family context. That means that they were killed by people they cared for.

Violence - Domestic Violence
Violence against women happens here too

This violence directed towards women was manifested this year by a high number of matricides, that is to say of sons who killed their mother. A total of 15 victims were murdered by a relative, 8 of whom lived specifically in domestic violence.

What worries me is seeing young men and teenage boys on the internet who believe in the same sexist ideas as in the previous generations and sometimes their beliefs are even worst than their predecessors. This means that there isn’t really any hope that these types of crime will reduce in number anytime soon.

Meanwhile women’s shelters are overflowing.

“Women cannot be expected to speak out about the horrific crimes inflicted upon them unless the international community is ready to protect them.” – Nobel Peace Prize laureate Nadia Murad

This is an issue that needs to be addressed. It’s time for these sexist ideals to become a thing of the past. Violence against women is a choice, every single time.

 

Why should you embrace your emotions?

As a society, I find that we have grown uncomfortable with emotions. Although I am a big fan of Star Trek, I don’t necessarily think that Vulcan’s have a healthy view of logic or emotions. It’s important to embrace your emotions because repressing them is bad for your mental and physical health. Embrace all of your emotions, even the negative ones. Strong people realize that accepting emotions is the only way you can truly move on.

It’s time we remember that emotions aren’t bad words. We have them for a reason. We shouldn’t be suppressing or hiding them. Your emotions belong to you, and you choose how you want to express them.

Part of embracing your emotion is being honest about them and not shaming others for having them. In other words, be honest with others and expect the same in return.

Nothing is universally perfect. Be patient with those who are in bad moods or who are anxious or nervous. You never know the struggle that these people are going through.

What is your biggest struggle with loving yourself?

February 13th is National “Love Yourself Day“. My biggest struggle with loving myself is the habit of putting the responsibility of everyone’s happiness upon my shoulder. Since I live in a home with 5 people, 2 who have learning disability, 3 that have mental illness issues and 3 that are teenagers and 2 have chronic health issues, happiness can be difficult to come by.  Rarely is everyone happy at the same time. Someone always seems to be struggling. Because of this, I often feel like I’m failing at motherhood, at being a wife and a human being.

I know rationally that I cannot be responsible for other people’s happiness. It’s difficult to step away from the habit especially when it has to do with my loved ones.

It’s also not the responsibility of my loved ones to be happy to make sure I’m happy.

What is your biggest struggle with loving yourself?

How to you know your relationship will last?

You can truly know if you are with the right partner when things go bad. Too many are quick to promise in health and in sickness, in richness and in poorness, without really knowing what it means to live with a sick spouse or taking care of a family in extreme poverty. Too many run at the first sign of trouble. If you and your partner can get through real struggle and come out even stronger, you know you are with the right person and that your relationship will last.

“A man’s character is not judged after he celebrates a victory, but by what he does when his back is against the wall.”- John Cena

If you and your partner have a healthy bedtime routine, it can also make the difference between make or break. Of course, it doesn’t mean that because you don’t always stick to the healthy and loving routine that you won’t make it. We went through a rough patch where one of our children was suffering from mental health issues and I slept in a makeshift bed near that child during the worst moments. Again that’s referring to how your couple deal with difficult moments will determine if your relationship will last.

Why do we need sex education?

We need sex education to counter misinformation going around the internet and being said among friends. People often share misinformation as if they are in the know when they are really not. Your kids will learn about sex somewhere, why not make sure the source is giving correct information?

sex education - school - healthcare These kids grow up and become clueless adults.  There are people who actually think that if a woman has a menstrual calendar on her phone it’s because she is loose. The truth is that menstrual calendars help us track our period, our flow and symptoms, which help us with our health. Duh!

Some idiotic teenager and adult males actually think that women can choose not to have their menstruation. Trust me, if it was a choice, the vast majority of us wouldn’t have menstruation.

Too many men tend to think that the female reproductive system, revolves around them and their penises.

Ignorance is not bliss. Knowing some individuals are so clueless about how the women’s body works, is a scary thought. This is why we need sex education.

How to you find your self-worth?

The first rule to finding your self-worth is to ignore what others say about you. Know you are worthy. Don’t let people who are hypocritical or inconsistent with their words and actions bring you down. If someone crosses you, don’t be afraid to get rid of them. Admire people who have integrity.

self-worth - Powerful - life lessons

The second rule to finding your self-worth is forgiving yourself for making mistakes. If you are anything like me, your anxiety makes it that you obsess over small mistakes that have little impact on the big picture turning them into something much bigger than they actually are. It makes me feel that any mistake would undermine my entire self-worth. This is why it’s important to remember that we are all human and that we will make mistakes. It’s just part of the journey.

The third rule to finding your self-worth is to stop chasing perfection. No one on this planet of ours is perfect no matter how hard many of us are trying.

Does your romantic relationship make you feel less worthy?

If the person you are dating acts distant to you and makes you doubt your self-worth, simply say goodbye and avoid getting played for a fool. The cost of being in a bad relationship isn’t worth it.

Of course, if the person you are dating respects you and treats you right, do the same for them.

Is it bad to kiss and tell?

To kiss and tell is defined as to share your romantic and sexual exploits with others.

I’m a blogger. My personal journal is pretty much online for everyone to read, but one thing I don’t do is kiss and tell. It is disrespectful and rude. It takes advantage of another person’s vulnerability.

Whether it is about their sex life or relationship issues, you don’t need to tell people about your personal business. Your friends do not need to know the details. Leave them to their fully capable imaginations. Know the value of privacy and do not look to anyone else for approval.

What is Political Correctness?

Political correctness is simply good manners and being considerate of others. Yes, it has simple as that.

Can you be politically correct and have a sense of humour?

Of course, you can. I am a fan of wicked wit and expertly executed sarcasm is one of my favourite things in the world. Jokes aren’t always appropriate. There are things more important than a perfect punchline. Like friendship. Trust. Kindness. Think before you make the joke. Is it worth it?

The ones who usually complain about political correctness are the ones who will react the loudest if someone disrespects them. The irony baffles me.

“I was reading a book which included the phrase “in these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their ski.

And I thought, “that’s not actually anything to do with political correctness. That’s just treating people with respect.

I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect” and it made me smile.

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!” – Neil Gaiman

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