How do you know he’s the one?

Despite easier access to potential partners, more people claim to have trouble finding romance today. I have more single friends than I have who are in serious relationships.

Since we are in the holidays, it’s almost impossible to escape the desire to find true love due to all the romantic holidays movies flooding our televisions.

Now that I have found my true love, many of my friends ask how I knew he was the one. Here is what I say:

  • The man to marry is the one who will stand next to you, not in front of you. Many of us have been in relationships when your partner wants you to turn down an opportunity because it won’t make them look good. I had a boyfriend who wanted me to turn down my university acceptance because I would be more educated then him and that wouldn’t reflect good on him. Anyone who would hold you back isn’t your true love.
  • He will do nice things for you without expecting anything in return. Anyone who keeps a score sheet isn’t truly in love with you. It’s a business relationship, not love. If you ever get sick, disabled or loose your job, anything that demands leaning on your partner, they will be gone. A ex-boyfriend once presented me with an invoice expecting me to reimburse him for a $0.25 I borrowed to make a phone call and for the flowers he gave me on my birthday.
  • No problem is too big for you to solve together. I must say that hardship of any kind is often a relationship breaker. If difficult times makes you closer, than that’s the perfect sign you are meant to be.

It also important to look at ourselves. Sometimes people who have every reason to be happy in a relationship just can’t help ruining it by refusing to commit.

 

To My True Love

There is nothing like a good love story.

Today marks my first Wedding Anniversary! A wedding is only a day, but a marriage is forever.

For this special occasion, I decided to write about love and relationships. Hopefully, I won’t make too many people sick. ūüėõ

Healthy love is daily offering. It is a gift. It has conditions that shape the self and strengthen the other. Healthy love is feeling powerful and independent.Healthy love is patient, kind and accepting. Healthy love requires a tremendous amount of responsibility which involves communication on all levels and constant reflection. 

My husband and I just fell into place seamlessly. We just fit and it was incredibly clear early on that we were supposed to be that way. Our personalities compliment each other well, and we bring out the brightest, most comfortable versions of each other. We appreciate and are genuinely interested in each other’s passions. The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.

We get along simply as friends, naturally and easily. We are content with our own playful banter. We make each other laugh on a daily basis and keep each other on our toes. We rock as best friends, which makes us an unstoppable couple.

We function well as a team, and also as 2 individuals with unique talents and interests. We work through the adversity of time, distance, and changing circumstances with baby steps, and diligent patience.

“Your relationship should be a safe haven, not a battlefield. The world is hard enough already.” – Unknown

To my husband, you are handsome, but your beauty goes so much deeper. I value you for who you are on the inside. I appreciate all the little things. I notice everything, and I am grateful for even the smallest of gestures.

Through all the ups and downs, all the fights, the misunderstandings and the hospital visits, he did not give up on me

I am aware that my anxiety issues may seem insane to you at times. I’m sure it’s not easy being my companion on this road. Thank you for seeing that this is only one part of who I am. Thank you for encouraging me to find my way forward in my most vulnerable moments. You believed I could keep stepping forward when I wanted to give up.

You are a wonderful parent (biological and step-parent). Parenthood is very challenging. You are the children’s hero.

Thank you for working so hard and being so responsible. I recognise your contributions. I hope you never feel taken for granted. I am truly grateful for everything you do for me and our beautiful family.

I am so happy to have you in my life.

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” – Audrey Hepburn

Anyone can use words of love, but actions reveal the true nature of a person. If the act of love doesn’t back up the person’s words, we’re not paying attention to what they’re truly saying.

“It takes three seconds to say: “I love you”, three hours to explain it and a lifetime to prove it.” – Unknown

My greatest wish is that everyone gets to experience true love. The kind you treasure on the inside no matter your situation. It’s a great day for dreaming of happily ever after.

What’s most shocking about University

What shocked me the University is the sheer number of female students who were there to find a husband. I couldn’t believe that this type of thinking was still striving in society.¬† I might have been raised to aspire to marriage like many women, but I was never expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. On the contrary, my parents thought me to look out for myself and that being able to take care of oneself was primordial. I was naive in thinking that it was the same for most women in the province of Quebec.

While numerous student sitting in the same classes as I were only there to meet the right guy and were fully ready to give up their education once they had a ring on their fingers, I was attending university because I wanted to. It had nothing to do with finding a good husband. It was about knowledge and my love of learning.

The idea that people are still grooming and teaching social skills to their daughters to ensure they don’t impede their husbands’ career progress is absolutely ghastly.

Women wanting to succeed in their chosen field should be encouraged.

 

Relationship Humour – Bedtime Routine

My husband and I were getting ready for bed yesterday after the kids were all down for the night. It’s the first marriage for both of us, but we were both single parents when we met. We still considered newlyweds but with two teens and one pre-teen that feeling is a bit different than the one represented in the media and marketing.

bed-1158272_1920Once ready for sleep, we both turned to our night table and took our meds. For a moment, the rattling of pills was all you could hear in our room. My husband starting laughing saying we already sound like an old couple to which I replied without missing a beat: “Well, we’re married now, that was bound to happen.” As if the moment, we said “I do”, we were bound to turn 80+ the very next day.

We’ve only been married since May. I’m in my late 30s and he’s in his early 40’s. I’m battling several chronic illnesses (which comes with medication several times a day) and he’s hurt his knee pretty badly at the beginning of the summer. He’s still waiting for some results to find out if he will need surgery.

Life is a series of transitions

Life is a series of moments, a series of transitions. It can sometimes feel like an emotional roller coaster especially when these changes are all happening at once or in a small amount of time.

April 2017 РRenters to Homeowners 

moveBuying our first home was a monumental step, one that is still feeling a bit unreal. Sitting at the table with the lawyer signing contracts I felt like a 5-year-old wondering why the grown ups were letting me sit at the table and sign papers with important words on them. We finally moved in at the end of June and we are still

We finally moved in at the end of June and a month later, we are still not done the fixing, renovating and unpacking every room. Trying to keep the house clean through all of this has been quite a challenge.

May 2017 РWe are getting Married! 

18813869_1686399251387439_2179318344109338012_nIt had been raining all week and finally, on our special day, we finally had beautiful summer sunny weather. Although our wedding was small and uniquely geeky, it still took a year of preparation to make our dream come true.

We are already approaching the end of July and we are just now mailing the thank you cards. I know it’s late, but through the health concerns, the move and waiting for our professional pictures to arrive, we are just now able to concentrate on this task.

June 2017 – RAI Treatment / Renovations / Moving Day / School Ends

June was a very busy month, filled with big transitional moments. I underwent RAI treatment for Hyperthyroidism. This means a full week of complete quarantine and another week of avoiding any situation where there could be pregnant women around since I was still radioactive.

My brand new husband was busy all day at work and all nights and weekend preparing the new house for our arrival. It was very demanding on him physically. I was at home with the kids, packing all our things and helping with final exams.

My kid was graduating from 6th grade and was very nervous about the entire situation. I am so grateful for my eldest stepkid who started high school last year and took the time to reassure her new step-sister.

July 2016 РIs it over yet? 

Our family has been in transition for a few months now and we can all feel the exhaustion from it all. We are looking forward to finishing unpacking and relaxing a bit. I fear that by the time it quiets down, it will be time to get the kids ready for a new school year.

Change is good, but the road is a challenging one.

 

 

 

How to plan the perfect Geek Wedding

Looking for some inspiration for your Geek Themed Wedding? This is how we customised our wedding to reflect our love of science fiction.

Our wedding invitations were inspired by Doctor who. We got them from TiarrArts on Etsy.  The package included Saved The Dates, Invitations, RSVP cards and thank you cards.

My jewellery was Doctor Who inspired. The necklace and earrings were purchased from ShadowRevolutions on Etsy.

18813869_1686399251387439_2179318344109338012_nMy bouquet was handmade by a wonderful Etsy¬†artist, DiddleBug and there was no way I was giving it away. This lovely bouquet was made out of a combination of 3 books that I chose (Doctor Who, Princess Bride and The Hitchhiker’s¬†Guide to the Galaxy). The stem was made of a toy replica of the sonic screwdriver of the 10th Doctor.

My shoes were custom hand painted by arteclair. They were Doctor Who inspired ballet shoes.

The ring box was inspired by the blue envelopes that Doctor Who gives to bring his wife and companion together in the episode “The Impossible Astronaut“. We purchased the customised¬†ring box from SoGladGirl on Etsy.

Our guest book wasn’t a book at all. ¬†We went with an idea we saw online of having an art print from PaperRamma on Etsy that we could frame and keep as decoration in our new home. We chose to¬†have the Doctor Who Tardis in the background. The image matched our wedding invitations.

18698376_1686408128053218_8766224595361940052_nThe cake topper was ordered from Silhouette Sensations on Etsy. We were lucky enough to have the venue replicate our dream wedding cake from a picture found on Pinterest.

Blended Family Wedding

The bride had one child from a previous relationship and the groom had two children from a previous relationship. This is what we call a blended or reconstructed family.

Many guests found it strange that both the Bride and the Groom had invited their ex-spouses to the wedding. Most believe that you should sever ties with exes or keep them at an absolute minimum. Fortunately, inviting your children parent to your wedding with the man or the woman you will now be passing the rest of your life with is arriving more often as split couples see the value of developing a sort of friendship, a co-parenting¬†team, for their children’s well-being.

It is much better for children when they can feel that mum, dad, stepmom and stepdad all get along.

In this particular case, the bride and groom decided to highlight their unique family by giving each child a personalised key chain, with both the groom and bride’s name as well as the child’s name along with a special message:

“It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us family.”

Blended families are special and can be incredibly beautiful with a little effort from all parties.

 

 

Wedding Traditions You Can Dump

As some of you already know, I recently got married. Our ceremony and following celebration truly

Giving Away the Bride

wedding-1646108_1920I didn’t want my father to give me away at the wedding. I knew he would be disappointed that I didn’t want to follow this tradition, but I didn’t want to feel like property that was being transferred¬†from one owner to the next. Let me be clear, my father never owned me and my husband doesn’t own me, I own me.

We even added Wiccan/Pagan opening remarks that asked the bride if she comes willingly and of her own accord to the ceremony text.

“Other would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family’s blessing.”

Many of our society’s gender issues stem from the fact that fathers used to own their daughters and once used their them as currency.¬†So next time you tear up watching a beaming father walk his little girl down the aisle, remember that not so long ago, fathers considered daughters as¬†an opportunity to make money.

The Garter Toss

wedding-792116_1920We didn’t do the garter toss. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of having anyone go under my gown and throwing a piece of clothing to a bunch of single guys. I still purchased a beautifully personalised garter from AussieWeddingGaters on Etsy, but it was for my husband’s enjoyment only.

As our guests list formed, we also realised that there weren’t going to be many single men invited. Since I’m in my late 30s and my now husband is in his early 40s, most of our friends and family members are already married or in long term relationships.

In the 1500’s hundred, the bride and the groom would consummate their marriage right after the ceremony. Guests would require proof that they had done the deed, since taking the woman’s virginity was the completion of the transaction. This basically led to hordes of wedding guests crowding around the bed, pushing and shoving to get a good view of the couple having sex and hopefully to get their hands on a lucky piece of the bride’s dress as it was ripped from her body.

As time progressed, wedding guests were banned from the bedroom, but male guests were still encouraged to take the bride’s garter for luck. This wasn’t done nicely. The garter was removed by force. The bride was often tossed upside down or having their dress ripped to shreds.

Finally, the job of removing the garter went to the groom who tossed it like the wedding bouquet. There are tonnes of awkward videos of garter toss on youtube that will make you want to dump this tradition.

The Bouquet Toss

18813869_1686399251387439_2179318344109338012_nWe didn’t do the bouquet toss. One reason was that my bouquet was handmade by a wonderful Etsy¬†artist and there was no way I was giving it away. My mother suggested that I have a smaller bouquet prepared for the bouquet toss, but I still didn’t want to do it. In previous weddings I attended, some women took the bouquet tossing too seriously. At one wedding, in particular, a young girl of 8-years-of-age caught the bouquet and women were crying because it meant that the child would marry before they did. I didn’t want that at my wedding. As our guest list was created, we also came to the realisation that there was only one single woman invited. I would not put her in the spot of being the only adult woman standing there to catch the bouquet.¬†What could possibly be more humiliating than being forced out to the centre of a parquet dance floor while a wedding DJ advertises your lack of a boyfriend and then being expected to further demonstrate your desperation by diving for flying flowers?

 

Honeymoon – Now or Later?

Yes, it’s customary to go on a¬†honeymoon right after the big celebration and sure, the idea of traveling as soon as your wedding is over is great, but once again, we will breaking from tradition and postponing our honeymoon.

germany-1014376_1920Our dream trip would be travelling to Europe and visiting a couple of different countries. My fianc√© has always wanted to visit Germany where he has some¬†family. I have been very lucky in my life and have visited many different countries and would like to grow that number by visiting different countries this time around. I’d also like to see some castles. That’s a trip that would cost a bit of money and this year may not be the right one to take on such a project.

  1. We purchased a home earlier this year, which is very expensive and moving day is very near by. Our apartment is filled with packed boxes and still a lot to do and organised prior to moving day.
  2. Weddings are extremely expensive and our budget is already stretched to maximum capacity.
  3. We have three kids.

IMG_6382The upside to honeymooning immediately is that you get to continue that feeling of newlywed bliss a little longer than your wedding night. With that in mind, we will be taking a mini-moon. Even if it’s only two or three nights, we will be taking some time to really let your marriage sink in and relax with your new spouse will make it feel all the more real before we go back to everyday reality. We decided to go to Niagara Falls, Canada. We splurged on a honeymoon suite and enjoyed being cheesy romantics for a few days.

Did you have your honeymoon right after the big day or did you wait? If you could do it all over again, would you make the same decisions?

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